I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
