Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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