walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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