there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
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We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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