I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
how does that bad decision feel?
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