Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
