i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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