I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
