I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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