put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
