wat bout pragnant strippers??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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