therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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