this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i love accidental penises.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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