Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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