Got a toothbrush?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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