you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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