so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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