So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
