dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
