Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
