I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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