I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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