R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
