id be glad to
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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