I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
