so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
