i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
