This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
