do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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