You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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