Soap is not a condiment
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.