She's JV to your varsity
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
