Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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