I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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