I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
BRING THE BAGELS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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