Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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