i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
