At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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