Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
