1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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