I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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