RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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