I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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