Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
