she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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