I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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