This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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