Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
