I heard we made out
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
