So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
