Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize