it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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