Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
