Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sober January is a disaster.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
