Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize