One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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