I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
