I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
