i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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