I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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